c’mon blog, come back to life

A friend of ours from Brooklyn called Laura the other day to catch up. She admitted, “I don’t read Joe’s blog any longer because he doesn’t talk about the kids.”

And let’s be honest, as soon as Ira emerged from living on the edge of life and death a lot of people quit stopping by my blog. (The numbers don’t lie.)

And now that I have what seems to be a mundane job while living in mundane suburbia I’ve lost some of my blogging audience. A teacher in St. Louis is just not as sexy as a minister in New York City. (Speaking of not sexy I’ve got a growing spare tire on my mid-section to accompany this new life I now live. Bring it.)

And, oh yeah, there’s the issue of me not blogging that much these days. I stay swamped at work and when I come home, I want nothing to do with thinking. At all. Yep, my kids are the lucky recipients of my after-work-mush-brains.

All of that makes me wonder, Is this blog dying a slow death? Should I put it out of its misery?

I’ve been blogging since August of 2003. There have been slow times before so when I ask the above questions I think, “Hey, it’s seasonal. Blogging is seasonal. Sometimes there is more to say. Sometimes, not so much.” And so for now, I’ll let precedent be my guide. I won’t give it up just yet but trust me – the few of you who are still out there – I’m aware that things are pretty slow around here. I’ll see what I can do to rectify the problem.

So what can you expect to see and/or read around these here parts?

• Ira is convinced God is a woman. I’ll tell you that story soon.
• Speaking of females, a woman from Texas has outfitted my class in all kinds of ways. I want to tell you about her and the work she’s done on behalf of my students and me. Amazing.
• I want to tell you about our new church home. It’s pretty crazy just sitting in the pew on Sundays; however, this church family makes it easy for me. I’ll tell you why at some point.
• I need to blog about something controversial. Hmm. Maybe I should curse. That always ups my stats.
• As the college and pro football seasons start winding down, I’ll make – once again – the argument that college football (in spite of it’s messed up post-season) is far superior to pro football.
• And should I blog about how elated I am that the Yanks are the world champions? You should be, too. Apparently, the stock market jumps 10% the year after the Yanks win. See? You should be excited about number twenty-seven! Bring on the holiday shopping season!

Filed under: Blogging

overwhelmed…with joy

Okay, let’s get real. Yeah, I’m pretty overwhelmed with all the things I need to do right now. I’ve got three classes worth of grad work due in two weekends. On Friday, I have to turn in my next set of five week lesson plans that cover five teaching subjects. And I desperately want to start building a culture of success in my classroom but most of my students have yet to get over their fear and distrust of academia. I’m constantly thinking about how I can partner with them so they can start feeling comfortable in school.

But even with all that bearing down on me, I’m overwhelmed with joy today. My Donors Choose project was funded in a week and a half. And it was no small project! Thanks to many of you, my students will soon be enjoying new technology that will enhance their learning experiences. On top of that, a friend wrote a very encouraging blog. It is certainly too much but I sure appreciate others going to bat on my behalf. And even though I’m not spending as much time as I would like with my family these days, I’m encouraged at how well, how happy they all are. Laura’s amazing and the kids are doing well. As I wrote to a friend the other day, “Opal’s fat. Real fat. And so very, very adorable. Ira’s the life of the party trying to make any and everyone laugh. And Sophia’s still her sweet self…all the while looking for ways to run the show.”

So yeah, there’s stress but joy overflows.

Filed under: Blogging, family, teaching

one word: busy

So this is how it works in Atlanta training with Teach For America. I wake up at 5 a.m. I get breakfast in Georgia Tech’s cafeteria (that’s where we’re being housed) at 5:45 and at 6:30 I board the bus that will take around 50 of us to a local school where kids are in summer school. We are in the school by 7 a.m. working away in our classrooms getting ready for kids who will arrive at 8 a.m. We teach until noon, when the kids go home, we then have learning sessions that last until 5 PM. I get off the bus at Georgia Tech and eat dinner. I get back to the dorm and settle in for a night of work planning thorough, manuscripted lessons that must be turned in to people in high positions – first a rough draft and then a final draft later on. I probably average five to six hours of work a night. Average.

So let’s do the math. I’m at my school ten hours a day. I’m averaging five hours of work at night. That means I’m putting in 15 hours of work a day. Every day. I’ve been doing this the past two weeks. I’ve got three more to go.

It’s not an unusual sight to see someone curled up in a corner crying. It’s a highly intense environment. And those with weak stomachs break easily. The rumor mill is that one person quit a couple of days ago. Considering there are 546 of us from different regions here in Atlanta training to be teachers in some of America’s neediest schools, one person quitting isn’t so bad. Thankfully, the regional staff (there is a Teach For America staff that works year round just to make this Atlanta Institute happen) is incredibly supportive.

And so now you know why I’m not blogging so much these days. It’s just that I really want my kids to learn how to identify the main idea and the theme of a selected passage. I really want them to believe they have the skills to do so. Because I know they do.

And for the record, I love what I’m doing. Love it. Even the 15 hour work days aren’t enough from keeping me from loving it.

Filed under: Blogging, teaching

hello? anyone out there?

I’m not sure if any have made the switch from the ccfb wordpress blog. For those of you that have, welcome to the new blog. I’m sorry there hasn’t been much content to be found here.

To say that life’s been a little hectic would be an understatement. We arrived in St. Louis two weeks ago. I started an orientation process the Monday after we arrived. Ira went into the hospital the following Thursday. He was released on Sunday. I flew to Atlanta that day to train with Teach For America. Sophia went to a sleepover camp that day. I’ve been here a week. I’ve got four more weeks to go. The transitions just keep coming. Oh, and did I mention there is a baby on its way?

Lord, see us through.

Now, on to the lesson planning.

Peace, friends.

Filed under: Blogging, family, transition

gears shifted

We’re officially in St. Louis – or, The Lou, if you’re cool. Laura and the kids arrived on Friday afternoon. I arrived on Saturday afternoon. And for the most part, we’ve settled in. Our beds are put together – hey, can i get an ‘amen’ for putting Ira and Sophia’s cheap IKEA bunk bed back together? – we’ve signed up for access to the city pool, and Sophia went to check out her new school.

Tonight, I begin a long summer of training with Teach For America. And I’m absolutely excited about it. But it was weird this past weekend to not have church responsibilities crowding my every thought. And it will be weird to meet new people tonight and over the next few weeks and speak about church ministry by using verbs in the past tense. I trained so long and hard to enter into the field of church ministry and now I’m not in it. I’m not sure how I feel about that but I can say that this past weekend, there was a gaping hole in my life. I’m praying the hole will be filled with this new endeavor and that it will be as equally fulfilling as church ministry was.

—–

Change is coming to my blog. My good friend, Kenny, is working on getting a new blog started for me so that CCFB can rightly claim this blog as their own. My new blog address will be…get ready for it…because the address will blow you away…ready?…okay, here goes:

joehays.wordpress.com

Wait, wait, wait. It’s not ready yet but it will be. Kenny’s swamped with work so it won’t happen for a while but I’m hoping that by announcing this over and over again, my mom and dad will catch on at some point. I think this is what those big dogs in DC call a preemptive strike.

—–

To officially inaugurate the new changes in my world, I give you this to consider and debate:

The term self-fulfilling prophesy, with regard to education, means that students perform in ways in which teachers expect. Their performance is based on subtle and sometimes not so subtle messages from teachers about students’ worth, intelligence, and capability.

Agree? Disagree?

Filed under: Blogging, CCfB, church, education, family, moving

what's gonna become of this blog anyway?

That’s the question that I’ve been asked by two of my three readers. And the answer is, “I’m not sure.” My buddy, Kenny, is working on getting the scenary changed around here and it might (or might not) require me getting a new url but the question remains, Am I going to keep blogging after the move?

And that’s hard to answer because I haven’t really felt like blogging over the past couple of months. What blogs I have written are pretty sporadic and, if I’m honest with myself, uninteresting. And so we’ll have to wait and see if the move energizes me and gives me new material to write about. Another factor will be time.

This new Teach For America gig is pretty intense. The summer schedule alone is gonna knock my socks off so I’m guessing that with what free time I do have, I better give to Laura and the kids. I think they would appreciate that. That’s not to say that I won’t sneak in a blog or two late at night but it might get quiet around here for a while.

—–

I said a while back that I would blog about all the things I’m gonna miss about Brooklyn. That never really happened, did it? (See, I told you I wasn’t in the mood to blog.) But it’s happening now. And with pictures! Woo-hoo!

I’m gonna miss Broadway shows. Laura and I love musicals. We sing pretty much all the time around our house. For Ira’s fourth birthday, we used money that Glo/Gram gave us for Christmas and saw The Lion King. Thanks, Mom.

I’m gonna miss the Brooklyn Bridge. We drove over the bridge every day of our lives when Ira was in the hospital. And we’ve walked it countless times as well. I could dig pretty deep here and extrapolate some metaphors but I’ll refrain. (You’re welcome.) We walked the bridge a couple of weeks ago. Just a few tears were shed as we did.

I’m gonna miss going to games at Yankee Stadium. There’s nothing like it. Even in the new stadium, one can feel the ghosts of Mantle, Ruth, and others. This past weekend, Brian O’s dad treated us all to a game. We sat in some really sweet seats and ate all the free food we could get our hands on. The game was amazing as the Yanks rallied in the ninth and won the game. Yep, a few tears were shed as we all jumped up and down in hysterics over what we had witnessed. Brian and Tara, you guys will be missed. Mr. O, thanks for the game.

I’m gonna miss being at the center of it all. Whatever it is, it happens in NYC first. For example, Laura and I had the privilege of attending the premier of Loot, a documentary. Our friend, Anson, was the cinematographer for the film. HBO picked up the documentary and opened it at their headquarters this past weekend. Laura and I put on our NYC best (all black clothes) and headed to the HBO offices. It was a blast. And let me just say, the movie was incredible. Set your DVRs and record LOOT premiering on HBO2 on May 20 at 8 PM (ET).

And of course, there’s the people. There is our CCFB family who we will dearly miss. There are our literal, physical neighbors here on Hoyt St. that we will miss. There are our friends that we’ve made through Sophia and her peers who we will miss. There are my basketball buddies that I see and spend hours with several times a week who I will miss. There are the friends we’ve made through Ira and the hospital that we will miss. Of course, I don’t have a picture of all these people but you get the picture. More than places, things, or events, we will miss our friends.

—–

One last story to share with you. Tonight, I heard Ira tossing and turning in his bed. I went and laid by him. I never do this so he was taken by surprise. I put my arm around him and he suddenly became still. After a few seconds he laid his hand on my hand and whispered, “you my best friend.” I melted. He has my heart.

Filed under: Blogging, Brooklyn, CCfB, Ira, Laura, Sophia, Yankees, basketball, family, film, food, friends, moving, photos, relationships, sports

how you doin'?

I’m not really sure what to write in this space these days. I’m also not so sure how to answer the question asked in casual conversation, “So, how are you doing?” Often times, the one asking is looking for, fishing for a nice, simple answer. Often times, I comply. “I’m doing alright.” But there are times when I feel the question is genuine and the one asking wants an honest answer. And so I give it.

On my best days, I feel good about things. I’m comforted in that our in-laws are providing us housing and while we’ll almost surely dip into a savings fund we would rather not have to touch, things could be much worse for us. On my best days, I realize that a job will be forth-coming. After all, doesn’t God honor the call? On my best days, I’m hopeful for CCFB and it’s future. There are so many God-gifted people in that church and so much desire. On my best days, I get sleep. Good sleep. But not every day is my best day. On those days when I’m not at my best, I’m one big ball of stress. I worry about imposing on my in-laws. I wonder if I’ll still be looking for a job a year from now. I stress about how my family will be provided for. I worry about CCFB and the pain of leaving them overwhelms me. On those not so good days, I don’t sleep. Not well, at least. I stay tired.

And staying tired for too long, as many of you know, affects other areas of life. Relationships are compromised. Parenting is not at its best. Work suffers. And so I’m looking at ways to balance things out a bit. I can’t continue the roller coaster ride of going from a day that’s good to a string of days that aren’t good. For me, I usually find balance when a) I’m intentional about being quiet, b) I work-out and c) I listen to others.

So on my to-do list today? Well, I’ve already worked out. Now I need to be quiet. And then, I’ll shut-up some and listen.

Filed under: Blogging, CCfB, family, transition, worry

so much to say

It’s different this time. The crisis my family finds itself in as we face a future that is unknown with no home to call our own and potentially no work is different than the crisis we were in four years ago as we awaited the birth of Ira.

Four years ago I shared some (not all, mind you) intimate details of the thoughts and feelings Laura and I were experiencing as Ira’s birth came near. Even after he was born, we shared with you all the facts (“Ira’s oxygenation sats are … “) along with all the ups and downs (“The weight of this seems too much. Our prayers cease to be. Please pray for us.”) of our predicament. It was therapeutic to come to this blog and share with you our story. You, in turn, offered your encouragement, prayers and support.

And now that my family is in another crisis I find myself not sure what to say here. This time it’s different.

Maybe it’s because our situation now involves so many more people. It’s not just about my family. There are others to consider. The Manhattan Church of Christ family. The community of faith at Christ’s Church for Brooklyn. And so to come here and share with you my fears, anxieties, frustrations and confusion is not appropriate. It would not be beneficial at all for me to share with you the intimate details of our lives as many of us are trying to transition into a new chapter of the story.

Just know this – it’s hard. Change is hard. Of course good can and will come of the change but for now, it’s hard. And so as usual, I turn to you and ask for your prayers. Not just for me and my family but for CCFB and Manhattan Church of Christ as well.

Filed under: Blogging, CCfB, church, family, prayer

to evite or not to evite?

When CCFB throws a party, we do so using evite. For example, we’ve got baby showers coming up. How do we get the word out? evite. My friend Steven says, “evite is for people over 30. You would never catch a 20+ year old using evite.” He says the under 30 crowd would use Facebook or Google calendar to get the word out about parties and such.

This was news to me. I never knew evite was for old folks. So let the debate begin: Is Steven right? Is evite an old relic only used by the likes of 30somethings? Or is Steven ahead of his time and evite is still appropriate for folks of all ages? Or, is Steven just a snob?

(This could just as easily be a post about blogging v twittering. In other words, blogging is for the older crowd while younger, hipper kids tweet all day long.)

Filed under: Blogging

clever title of clever post here

It is within this space that should come a clever post. Or a post that offers sage advice. Or a post that confounds you and astounds you. Or a post that lights the spark of controversy.

So maybe I should ask you how you’re feeling – I mean really feeling – as this country readies itself for a change in leadership. A friend of mine was physically ill weeks and weeks before the election. Now that her guy has won? She’s feeling much better. So maybe I should ask how you’re feeling. Maybe the opposite is true for you. Maybe you’re feeling sick about the way ahead. Surely that would get the comments flowing.

But I’m not in the mood.

Maybe I could wax poetically about how reading the Bible is a tricky proposition and isn’t as straightforward as we want it to be. Maybe I should work hard and write a really insightful piece about what we should consider when we open up that heady piece of literature. I bet we could get a good discussion going on that.

But I’m not in the mood.

Maybe I could write something about Thanksgiving. I could tell you about how thankful I am for my kids and wife and how thankful I am that they are filled with grace as I stumble through being a dad and husband. And maybe I could ask you what you’re thankful for this season. Hey, ’tis the season.

But I’m not in the mood.

I’m tired. It’s been a long week. I’m attempting to take on too much these days and the weekend offers no respite. I’ve said “yes” to too much. This is the way it goes in almost all professions, is it not? Slow seasons, busy seasons. I’m noticing in my other friends and in my parishioners their exhaustion too. It’s widespread.

So I tell you what – I’m going to do my best to find a day of rest during the next week. Why don’t you too? And by “rest” I really mean rest. Don’t run errands, do laundry, make the bed, or do dishes. That can wait until the next day. Just rest. Order in. Go out to eat. Watch a movie. Play with the kids. Let them watch a movie. Take a nap. Read a book. Whatever. Just make sure you rest.

It won’t only do you some good but your family and friends will benefit from a rested you. Oh, and your blog just might get interesting again.

So go ahead, go rest.

Filed under: Bible, Blogging, family, holidays, interpretation, politics