any tricks?

Here in St. Louis we abide by the old rules: kids have to tell a joke (trick) to get their candy. Laura was amazed when she moved to other parts of the country and learned that kids do not, in fact, have to say anything at all to get candy. (She was even more shocked to find that we Hayses usually found a good movie at the theater on Halloween so as to avoid the trick-0r-treaters altogether.)

So Sophia and Ira need some good jokes. Do you have any cheesy jokes you want to share? …appropriate for a six and a four year old. Geez, it’s bad when I have to reprimand my blogging audience to keep it clean.

On a similar note, we’re really homesick for Brooklyn right now. We loved this time of year in Brooklyn. It was on Halloween that we met and got to know Jodi, Anson and Roan. We’ve spend every Halloween since with them hanging out on our stoop on Hoyt St. The neighborhood kids would come and hang with us as well. We would order pizza, drink soda and hand out candy to any and every one. (Oh, and Jodi would get hit on by pre-teens.) We’re gonna make new memories and start new traditions here in The Lou (get ready Pribish clan!) and we’re excited about that. But to all our Halloween compadres back in bklyn: BOO!

Filed under: Brooklyn, family, friends, holidays

4th grade news and friends/food

So no video to post. We started on the video this past week but didn’t finish it. It’s going to be an on-going deal in which each kid – hopefully – gets a chance to work on it. They are so fired up about it.

In other 4th grade news, I’m now officially the teacher of just 23 kids. Whew. For the past two weeks, I’ve had 36 on my roster and in my class. It was exhausting work. I kept telling people, “I feel like I’m managing about 70% of the time and teaching about 30% of the time.” Oh, and there was the small matter of me getting burned out really quickly. But thankfully, another 4th grade teacher was hired and we’re all at about 23 per class. Yessss! Watch out Herzog 4th Graders, we’re about to take off and trust me, there’s no looking back.

I’ve got some ideas for what I want to ask for on Donors Choose. I might be asking for a projection unit of some sort that I can plug my computer into. I would love to start teaching using Mac’s equivalent to PowerPoint and would love to show kids websites, videos and play music. Hmm… But I’m also considering asking for just regular ol’ printing paper. That’s right, printing paper. We have to supply our own. Sigh. And do you know how much paper a teacher goes through each day? Yikes! I’m just two weeks in and I’ve spent way too much on printing paper. Still thinking how I can best use the incredible resource that is donorschoose.org.

And finally in school news, I really want to get a classroom pet of some sort. I’ve asked my Facebook friends what I should get and got all sorts of randomness. And while I welcome your smarta$$ comments here too, I would really like some practical wisdom here. This pet has to be low maintenance. I won’t be taking it home every weekend and neither will my students. Any ideas out there?

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A short list of what I’m missing about NYC:

1. Friends. I miss them dearly. I miss my CCFB family. I miss my neighborhood friends. I miss my friends from MCC. I miss my Y basketball buddies and my league teammates.

2. Food. I miss having great food around the corner; food that can be delivered to your front door at any hour of the day. I miss the Goat Cheese Pizza from Zaytoon’s, the burger from Bar Tabac and the Cheesesteak Sandwich from Cafe Luluc.

A short list of what I’m loving about The Lou:

1. Friends. There are some great people here that have welcomed us into their homes and showered us with their love. They’ve made this crazy transition seem not so crazy. I’m thankful for these folks and their hospitality.

2. Food. Okay, so I’m a sucker for a soft drink at Sonic, a sandwich at Chick Fil A and the crispers at Chili’s. Yeah, city friends, go ahead and roll your snobbish eyes. I can take it.

Filed under: Brooklyn, food, friends, teaching

need to waste some time at work today?

So a couple of my Teach For America colleagues got a shout out in the St. Louis Chamber of Commerce Magazine. Actually, it’s an article talking about TFA in St. Louis while highlighting a couple of corp members. I had the pleasure of co-teaching with Navneet this summer in Atlanta. We share tons of laughs. And Elsie, an ‘08 corps member, is my Lou Crew Leader which simply means that she has taken me and a few others of us ’09s under her wings. She’s got a year’s experience on us and so she shares her wisdom with us. Check out the article here.

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Who knew my former Brooklyn landlord was famous? The New York Times has been doing this very cool feature for a while now titled, “One in 8 Million.” It takes regular New Yorkers and tells their unusual stories. My landlord, Jack, digs in people’s backyards. Specifically, he digs where outhouses used to be. Funny, right? Check out this NY Times feature here.

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After having severed ties with the Southern Baptist Church years ago, Jimmy Carter recently wrote a piece saying more explicitly why it is that he left the nation’s biggest denomination. These are the words that open his essay:

Women and girls have been discriminated against for too long in a twisted interpretation of the word of God.

I find comfort that others – like my sisters, President Carter and many more – have left churches and maintained, not only their faith, but their practice of faith. Check out Pres. Carter’s essay here.

Filed under: Brooklyn, New York Times, faith, teaching

what's gonna become of this blog anyway?

That’s the question that I’ve been asked by two of my three readers. And the answer is, “I’m not sure.” My buddy, Kenny, is working on getting the scenary changed around here and it might (or might not) require me getting a new url but the question remains, Am I going to keep blogging after the move?

And that’s hard to answer because I haven’t really felt like blogging over the past couple of months. What blogs I have written are pretty sporadic and, if I’m honest with myself, uninteresting. And so we’ll have to wait and see if the move energizes me and gives me new material to write about. Another factor will be time.

This new Teach For America gig is pretty intense. The summer schedule alone is gonna knock my socks off so I’m guessing that with what free time I do have, I better give to Laura and the kids. I think they would appreciate that. That’s not to say that I won’t sneak in a blog or two late at night but it might get quiet around here for a while.

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I said a while back that I would blog about all the things I’m gonna miss about Brooklyn. That never really happened, did it? (See, I told you I wasn’t in the mood to blog.) But it’s happening now. And with pictures! Woo-hoo!

I’m gonna miss Broadway shows. Laura and I love musicals. We sing pretty much all the time around our house. For Ira’s fourth birthday, we used money that Glo/Gram gave us for Christmas and saw The Lion King. Thanks, Mom.

I’m gonna miss the Brooklyn Bridge. We drove over the bridge every day of our lives when Ira was in the hospital. And we’ve walked it countless times as well. I could dig pretty deep here and extrapolate some metaphors but I’ll refrain. (You’re welcome.) We walked the bridge a couple of weeks ago. Just a few tears were shed as we did.

I’m gonna miss going to games at Yankee Stadium. There’s nothing like it. Even in the new stadium, one can feel the ghosts of Mantle, Ruth, and others. This past weekend, Brian O’s dad treated us all to a game. We sat in some really sweet seats and ate all the free food we could get our hands on. The game was amazing as the Yanks rallied in the ninth and won the game. Yep, a few tears were shed as we all jumped up and down in hysterics over what we had witnessed. Brian and Tara, you guys will be missed. Mr. O, thanks for the game.

I’m gonna miss being at the center of it all. Whatever it is, it happens in NYC first. For example, Laura and I had the privilege of attending the premier of Loot, a documentary. Our friend, Anson, was the cinematographer for the film. HBO picked up the documentary and opened it at their headquarters this past weekend. Laura and I put on our NYC best (all black clothes) and headed to the HBO offices. It was a blast. And let me just say, the movie was incredible. Set your DVRs and record LOOT premiering on HBO2 on May 20 at 8 PM (ET).

And of course, there’s the people. There is our CCFB family who we will dearly miss. There are our literal, physical neighbors here on Hoyt St. that we will miss. There are our friends that we’ve made through Sophia and her peers who we will miss. There are my basketball buddies that I see and spend hours with several times a week who I will miss. There are the friends we’ve made through Ira and the hospital that we will miss. Of course, I don’t have a picture of all these people but you get the picture. More than places, things, or events, we will miss our friends.

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One last story to share with you. Tonight, I heard Ira tossing and turning in his bed. I went and laid by him. I never do this so he was taken by surprise. I put my arm around him and he suddenly became still. After a few seconds he laid his hand on my hand and whispered, “you my best friend.” I melted. He has my heart.

Filed under: Blogging, Brooklyn, CCfB, Ira, Laura, Sophia, Yankees, basketball, family, film, food, friends, moving, photos, relationships, sports

leaving bklyn

Over the past six years, my family has made its home in New York City. For a little less than a year, 91st St and 1st Ave in Manhattan’s Upper East Side (some say, Spanish Harlem) was our home. That small 450 sq ft apt seemed just right for us. And then we found 116 Hoyt St. in Brooklyn’s Boerum Hill. We felt we were moving into a mansion as we almost doubled our living space. It didn’t take long to realize that Brooklyn was just right for us. We quickly grew to love it and had no problem calling it home.

And yet, we’ve had our moments over the past six years. Moments in which we yearned for a backyard with swings and a slide; when we longed to be near family; when we wanted to wake to peace and quiet instead of sirens and horns honking. It’s a rare few who don’t feel the push and pull of the city.

These days, it’s not uncommon to hear Laura and me utter the phrases, “I sure am gonna miss this,” or, “I certainly won’t miss this.” Over the next couple of months, I’ll spend time here thinking about those things I will miss and the aspects of city life that I won’t miss. In doing so, I hope to gain some sense of appreciation of where we’ve been the past six years while also gaining an appreication of where we’re going.

Filed under: Brooklyn, Laura, moving

moving on

Two weeks ago I was informed that Manhattan Church of Christ wanted and needed Christ’s Church for Brooklyn to be self-supporting. (You see, MCOC has paid my salary for the past six years. Yes, CCFB folks tithe but that money goes to pay for everything else – rental of worship space, office space, any/everything else…) We were told that we needed to be fully self-supportive by December. In the meantime, MCOC would start reducing their contribution to my salary 10% each month. In other words, in March CCFB would be responsible for 10% of my salary, by April 20%, by May 30%, etc.

The problem with this is that CCFB just isn’t big enough to support a full-time minister. And so when we got this news, Laura and I started to run every possible scenario through our minds. Could we beg CCFB to give more? Could I become bi-vocational? Could I find another stream of funding? When I teased those options out, none of them seemed feasible. None seemed practical. With much prayer and through conversations with mentors, Laura and I decided that we should leave Brooklyn in early June and move to St. Louis. It’s not that there’s a great professional opportunity waiting for me there but Laura’s parents are there and they have three bedrooms and a bath that we can use. They graciously offered us that space as a transition place. We accepted.

We’re sad about leaving Brooklyn. In some ways, it felt like we were just getting started here with the church. For so long, CCFB was in a holding pattern as my family did what was necessary to care for Ira but for the past 18 months, we’ve had a good run at CCFB. And we were hoping for another big turn as we worked toward the dream of a tutoring center. However, it just wasn’t feasible for MCOC to continue with their support.

I’m so thankful for the way MCOC has stood by us the past six years. The church family there saw us through one of hardest times in our lives. So please don’t read into this post some sort of bitterness because, in the end, there isn’t. More than anything I’m moved by a spirit of gratitude.

And now my family, along with the family at CCFB, will work on the transition.

Filed under: Brooklyn, CCfB, church, family

oh-nine

I’m sitting in my in-laws’ living room. It’s a little quieter here in St. Louis now that two of the kids and their parents have headed home. My kids are busily playing with toys that are only known to them here at grandmom and granddad’s house. Laura, her brother and her dad are scouring the fridge for leftovers. The fire is roaring in the fireplace. Football is being played on the television. And I’m sitting on the couch with my feet situated snuggly under Jersey the Dog.

As I sit here I can’t help but ponder the year gone by. Like any year, the year was full of ups and downs.

We watched in awe as Ira took huge steps to unleash himself from the chains of tubes that held him down – but saved his life – for so long. Witnessing all of that was like watching some cartoon character use his oversized muscles to burst through handcuffs that were placed on him. The release Ira must have felt!

And Sophia’s love of music only grew this past year in her discovery of all things High School Musical. That sentence sounds kinda lame when compared to Ira’s update, doesn’t it? While Sophia’s life hasn’t been defined by fighting for each breath she has felt the impact of living on edge and so music has become for her both an escape and a blessing. Her pitch perfect renditions of HSM’s pop songs brings joy to our home.

Laura continued to teach music classes for toddlers in ‘08. She even has a little following among some of her students. She took her act on the road performing for a school in Manhattan and in Brooklyn. She’s also started performing her set at birthday parties. She’s loved by many; which, of course, is of no surprise to me.

I find myself so very thankful for the community of faith that is known as Christ’s Church for Brooklyn. We’re just as dysfunctional as any social group that makes lofty commitments to each other but we’re able to rise above those dysfunctions by the grace of God in order that we love each other fully and completely. We were able to add more covenant partners to our community this past year and we’ve been blessed in getting to know their stories.

As I ponder the year gone by I can’t help but think about the year that is upon us. There is much in store for the Hays family in ‘09. And just like last year, it will be full of ups and downs. And just like last year, we will look to God to see us through. And just like last year, God will do exactly that.

Happy New Year, Friends.

Filed under: Brooklyn, CCfB, God, Ira, Laura, Sophia, church, family, friends, home, hope

life in the hood

We live in a four story townhouse. Our groovy landlords (instead of retiring in Florida with the rest of their friends, they moved from Long Island into the city to retire) live in the street level apartment. They then rent out the top three floors.

For a while our neighbors were Bryan and Yael. You’ve heard lots about them as they quickly opened their doors and their lives to us. Above Bryan and Yael lived Erik. He got hitched and got the heck out of dodge. Not long after Erik’s wedding and exodus, Bryan and Yael moved off to London to experience another part of the world.

To say that we were a bit anxious about our new upstairs neighbors would be an understatement. But there was no need to be anxious. Our upstairs neighbors turned out to be awesome.

Much like our neighbors of old our new neighbors have opened up their lives to us and loved on our kids without hesitation. There’s Jen and Jordan up on the fourth floor and Paul and Barrett on the third floor. They’ve fed us, allowed family to stay in their apartments, let us take care of the cat (my kids’ favorite!), and helped us carve pumpkins.

I’m so glad to have such great and gracious neighbors.

Filed under: Brooklyn, family, friends

the good news barber shop, part three

It was unusually busy for a Tuesday afternoon. When I walked in I did a quick survey of the shop and realized I would have to wait for three others to get their hair cut before I got my chance. Funny thing about the other three guys is that all of them were sporting buzz cuts. But yet there they sat anxiously awaiting their turn in Victor’s chair as if their hair had gotten obnoxiously long.

Of the three, two were young teenage boys. And one of them was accompanied by his girlfriend. As he waited his turn, the girl practically sat on his lap. At certain angles it looked as if the two of them were actually just one. She never uttered a word instead choosing to smack her gum slowly and meticulously. The two teenage boys were friends. And all three of them, the two young boys and the girlfriend, were obviously avoiding school. Victor offered no judgment upon them. Instead, he asked them about their families.

The other guy waiting looked to be in his twenties. I had seen him before in Victor’s shop and my mind hadn’t changed about him upon this second encounter: I would not want to piss him off. His bodily proportions are the stuff of comic book heroes. Huge, wide shoulders. A chest the size of a grill. And the tight fitting tank tops he wears reveals not just a six pack of stomach muscles but an eight pack, possibly a ten pack. In my head I’ve given him the name, Mr. Muscles.

The conversation dies down between Victor and the two young guys when Mr. Muscles chimes in. “Yo, Vic, what do you think about the election?” Victor nods his head and rightly says, “I don’t get too much into that stuff. They’re all crooked.” Mr. Muscles nods his head slowly. He looks to me. “What do you think?” “Well, I think Vic is on to something.” “So you not gonna vote?” Busted. “Well, yeah,” I say with a smirk on my face affirming that he’s cornered me. But he let’s me off the hook. “If I could vote, I’d probably vote for McCain.” “Yeah? Why’s that?” I ask. “Because I don’t want nobody telling me what guns I can and can’t own.” Fair enough.

We were still talking politics when the old lady busted through the door. She’s out of breath. She’s not crying or overly dramatic but she’s in distress. Vic raises the electric razor from one of the guy’s scalp and looks up calmly. She starts spewing forth Spanish so rapidly that even Victor’s having a hard time understanding her. She finally catches her breath a bit and slows down. And while I don’t understand most of what she’s saying, I know that she’s asking for money. And as if choreographed, as if staged by some of Broadway’s leading choreographers, everyone in the shop reaches into their pockets to pull out money.

Well, not everyone. The kid in Victor’s chair wasn’t really in the position to do so. And neither did I. In the end, it was Mr. Muscles who gave her some cash and sent her on her way with a reassuring pat on the back. As soon as the door shut behind her, Victor went back to work on the kid’s hair and Mr. Muscles picked up the conversation right where we left it as if there had never been an intrusion.

The Good News Barber Shop, indeed.

Filed under: Brooklyn, politics, story

good news barber shop, part two

A bottle of Aqua Net. You know, the kind of hairspray your grandmother used back in the ’70s. Beside it, a can of WD-40. It is, after all, advertised to have over 2000 uses. An electric razor that when turned on rattles loudly as if complaining that it’s being used again. Leave me alone. I’m tired and old. Can’t I just get some rest? the razor screams. What’s missing from the table top in front of the barber’s chair is just as curious – scissors. Why waste time with scissors if an old electric razor can do the job?

But it matters not because Victor, the barber, hypnotizes you in his chair with his story. You suddenly don’t care about his credentials or his equipment. You no longer care that you’re in a run-down joint that has crammed in the back of it relics of long-ago stores that didn’t make it on Third Ave. All you care about is the man and his story.

Turns out that my barber, Victor, was a drug addict. When the police finally busted him and he walked through those prison doors, he decided to turn his life around. His claim is that Jesus and the Christian community helped him kick his addiction. And so for a couple of decades now, Victor’s made his professional home on Third Ave cutting hair and telling his story to anyone and everyone; hence, the name of his shop – The Good News Barber Shop.

But cutting hair is just a small part of Victor’s world. He has his own show on local public television. Nothing fancy and  it’s hard to find on the dial but nonetheless, a show. On the show he teaches from the Bible about how one can be set free from the chains of sin and oppression. Victor’s also written a self-published book. It’s a book of his story and it’s raw and unedited. I thought about sending it off to publishers but I wanted it to remain as I’ve written it, says Victor. Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors abound but, again, the story trumps.

And while these endeavors are impressive, it’s the community that exists within that barber shop that grabs hold of me and demands my attention. Every time I go, I sit back and watch as those who live and work on Third Ave come and go. I never leave The Good News Barber Shop unmoved by some kind act or some wise word offered.

Like the day the old lady came in panting, out of breath.

(to be continued tomorrow)

Filed under: Brooklyn, God, faith, hope, story