hello? anyone out there?

I’m not sure if any have made the switch from the ccfb wordpress blog. For those of you that have, welcome to the new blog. I’m sorry there hasn’t been much content to be found here.

To say that life’s been a little hectic would be an understatement. We arrived in St. Louis two weeks ago. I started an orientation process the Monday after we arrived. Ira went into the hospital the following Thursday. He was released on Sunday. I flew to Atlanta that day to train with Teach For America. Sophia went to a sleepover camp that day. I’ve been here a week. I’ve got four more weeks to go. The transitions just keep coming. Oh, and did I mention there is a baby on its way?

Lord, see us through.

Now, on to the lesson planning.

Peace, friends.

Filed under: Blogging, family, transition

it's like i'm 12 all over again

This Friday I’ll head out for the open road…with my mom and dad. They generously offered to help us with the move. With Laura and the kids flying to St. Louis I took my parents up on their offer.

The last time I took a road trip with my mom and dad I was twelve. We drove from west Texas to Boston. None of us wore seat belts. I played G.I. Joe in the back of the suburban pretending the luggage to be mountainous terrain. And we listened to Billy Joel. Lots of Billy Joel. (Except for the song Captain Jack which my family thought I was too young to hear. They always fast forwarded that song. I now know that song by memory because you can bet your bottom dollar that I found ways to hear the mysteriously fast forwarded song. Yeah, I was crazy-rebellious.)

I’ve been asked a lot lately how I feel about this move? “Are you excited? Ready? Sad?” I’m feeling all that and more. Have I mentioned that we really like New York City and all the people we’ve come to know? So yeah, we’re sad. But we’re also ready. We’ve known that we would be moving since February. It’s been a while. And now it’s time. We’ve said goodbye to those we need to say goodbye to. Our Manhattan Church friends threw us a party. Our landlords hosted a neighborhood going-away party. This past Sunday, CCFB blessed us with an incredible send-off service. It’s time to go. We’re ready. And we’re excited. We’re excited to be with Laura’s parents. We’re excited for a change of pace. We’re excited about new challenges. We’re excited about the arrival of our third child. There’s lots to look forward to.

And I’m excited to make this trip with my parents. Oh sure, they’ll drive me crazy and I’ll drive them crazy on this road trip but fun will be had. I’m guessing things will be a bit different than in 1986 when we drove to Boston. This time around we’ll wear our seatbelts. Instead of playing G.I. Joe in the back of the van, I’ll actually share in the driving duties. And maybe I can talk my parents into listening to some of my NPR podcasts. One thing won’t change, we will, at some point, listen to Billy Joel and when Captain Jack rolls around I’ll probably hit the skip button. After all, who wants to listen to music about a depressed, drunk, self-pleasuring manic while cruising the open road with your parents?

Filed under: New York, family, moving, transition, travel

ministering is like flipping burgers

One of the many questions to follow my announcement that I’ll be working with Teach For America goes something like this, “So are you done with parish ministry?” Another version of the question is, “Is this a career change?”

I’ve got a pretty standard answer to that question. I usually say, “Teach For America is a two year commitment. It could be that by the end of the two years, I’ll totally be in love with teaching and all things education. If that’s the case, I’ll absolutely continue on with teaching. But I’m also going to work toward receiving standing with the Disciples of Christ during the next two years. It could be that I enter back into parish ministry after my two year stint with Teach For America. I’m not closing any doors at the moment.”

Most people accept the answer I give them and we move on. But for those of you who have been around these here blog parts for some time know there’s a bit more going on.

When it became evident that my family would need to leave Brooklyn, I immediately started thinking about my next job. Would it be church work? Where in the world would I ever find another church like CCFB? Certainly not in the Churches of Christ, the denomination I grew up in and have made a home in. And so I started thinking about what it would look like to work for and in a different denomination. I quickly learned that lateral moves like this – a move from one denomination to another – aren’t that easy to make.

Imagine, if you will, being a manager of a McDonald’s. And imagine getting fed up with McDonald’s. I mean, you love burgers but you think there’s a better way of preparing those burgers and then serving those burgers. And so you start to see what it’s like to manage for a different fast food chain that specializes in burgers. You start to check into Burger King’s policies and you find that you like their values and, more than anything, you like how they operate. At the core, things are familiar – burgers. But the little nuances intrigue you and you seem to be more in line with BK’s policies and managerial practices. Problem is, BK, while appreciating your years of service at McDonald’s, wants you to do some training before they hand you a store to manage. It’s a bit frustrating because you’re pretty sure you know what you’re doing but BK plays it safe. They want to make sure you’re on their team and really are invested in what they believe and how they operate.

Well that’s how it works with denominational moves. I can’t one day be ministering in the Churches of Christ and then, the next day, minister in the Disciples of Christ, or an Episcopalian Church, or a Lutheran Church or a Presbyterian Church. Etc… It’s a bit frustrating because I’ve been in full-time, professional ministry for eight years. I’ve got good training under my belt. But these other denominations feel the need to play it safe. They need to know where I stand. They need to know if I’m on board with their policies, practices, theology. Yes, the core is the same – Jesus the Christ – but the nuances matter.

When it became evident that I wouldn’t be able to immediately land a church job in a denomination of my choosing, I had to seek out other means. Teach For America was the perfect opportunity for me. It gives me a chance to step away from church ministry and do a bit of soul searching. It allows me to step away and discern what my ministerial gifts really are. (The two churches I’ve worked for and the job descriptions that accompanied them couldn’t be more different.) And it allows me to regain the confidence I once had regarding ministry.

All this to say, no, I’m not done with ministry in the church setting. I’ll work hard over the next two years to find a home in and receiving standing with the Disciples of Christ. I’m excited about the opportunities in the DOC and look forward to learning more about how they flip burgers.

In the meantime, I’m absolutely and wholy commited to Teach For America. Have I mentioned that I can’t wait for this new opportunity?

Filed under: CCfB, church, teaching, transition

special education

So here’s how the conversation goes down:

Me: I got a job!
You: Get out! That’s incredible! Congratulations!

(okay, so maybe you aren’t that enthusiastic about anything, much less about my job but in this moment you feel it’s worth faking enthusiasm because you can read my non-verbals and my non-verbals – along with my verbals – are screaming exclamation points! and so you scream exclamation points back at me! thank you for complying.)

Me: Thank you so very much. I’m so excited!
You: What will you be doing?
Me: I got a job with Teach For America.
You: Amazing! Where will you be teaching?
Me: St. Louis.
You: Cool! And what will you be teaching?
Me: Special Education.
You: …oh. wow. okay.

You take in this last bit of information with reservation. Your excitement has waned and you wonder if I’m in over my head. You’re thinking to yourself, “Not only is he changing professions; not only is he going into some of the hardest, toughest schools in America; he’s teaching special ed. Does he even have a clue?”

And the honest answer to that question that formed in your head – Does he have a clue? – is “no, I don’t have a clue. I don’t know what I’m getting myself into.”

At one point in the interview process with Teach For America I was asked if I would be interested in teaching special education. I had three choices:
1) Yes
2) I’m open to the idea or,
3) No.
If I chose one or two, the fineprint read, I would more than likely be placed in a special education setting. I stared at the computer screen and the words that formed the sentence, Are you interested in teaching special education?

I thought about Ira. I thought about his delays and how I’ve come to love and accept him in spite of those delays. I thought about his school, Gramercy, and the work they do at that school. I thought about his classmates who are all over the special education map. I thought about how every time I visit Gramercy and every time I hang with Ira and his classmates I always feel close to God. And I thought, “well, maybe, just maybe this is a way for me to do what I’ve always preached which is to look after the least of these.” But I was still a bit hesitant and unsure as I stared at the computer screen. I finally reached for my touch pad and chose option two – I am open to the idea. And sure enough, I’ve been placed in a special education setting. I don’t know yet if I’ll be in an elementary, middle school or high school situation. But this I know: even though I have no clue what I’m getting myself into, I do know that I can’t wait to meet my students and give them everything I have.

Oh, wait. Let me try that again. I can’t wait to meet my students and give them everything I have!

Yep, that’s better because that’s how I feel. I can’t wait!

Filed under: Ira, teaching, transition

i believe the children are our future

So it’s official. I got accepted into and received a placement with Teach For America. To say that I’m excited about this is an understatement. Turns out 35,000 other people thought it was a good idea to apply for a TFA gig with only 3,800 placements available. The Wall Street Journal wrote about TFA’s large applicant pool a couple of weeks ago and opened the piece this way:

Here’s a quiz: Which of the following rejected more than 30,000 of the nation’s top college seniors this month and put hundreds more on a waitlist? a) Harvard Law School; b) Goldman Sachs; or c) Teach for America.

Wendy Kopp, TFA’s founder, told Thomas Friedman of the NYTimes, that, sure, part of it is a lack of jobs elsewhere. But part of it is “students responding to the call that this is a problem our generation can solve.”

(Did you catch that last little part where she speaks about “students”? Um, yeah. Most TFA corps members are fresh out of college. Like 85% of them are. And then there’s me. Thirty-five year old me. With two kids. And one more on the way. Good times.)

So anyway, yeah, I’m kinda excited about making the cut. Let’s just say that I needed a bit of a confidence boost in my life. But that’s for a different post at another time.

I’ll be teaching special education in St. Louis and can’t wait to get started. And that’s a good thing because we move on May 29 and I have to report for duty on June 1. I’ll go through a five week intensive institute in Atlanta and there are various other objectives that have to be met this summer as well. It’s gonna be a wild ride.

But enough about the specifics. There are larger questions such as, “Are you done with church ministry?” and “Teaching? Why teaching?” and “What does Laura think about this?”

I’ll tackle those questions in future posts. For now, let me just say this, we have been provided for. For this, we are extremely thankful. Many of you have been praying, thinking, well wishing on our behalf. Again, thank you.

Filed under: transition , teaching

how you doin'?

I’m not really sure what to write in this space these days. I’m also not so sure how to answer the question asked in casual conversation, “So, how are you doing?” Often times, the one asking is looking for, fishing for a nice, simple answer. Often times, I comply. “I’m doing alright.” But there are times when I feel the question is genuine and the one asking wants an honest answer. And so I give it.

On my best days, I feel good about things. I’m comforted in that our in-laws are providing us housing and while we’ll almost surely dip into a savings fund we would rather not have to touch, things could be much worse for us. On my best days, I realize that a job will be forth-coming. After all, doesn’t God honor the call? On my best days, I’m hopeful for CCFB and it’s future. There are so many God-gifted people in that church and so much desire. On my best days, I get sleep. Good sleep. But not every day is my best day. On those days when I’m not at my best, I’m one big ball of stress. I worry about imposing on my in-laws. I wonder if I’ll still be looking for a job a year from now. I stress about how my family will be provided for. I worry about CCFB and the pain of leaving them overwhelms me. On those not so good days, I don’t sleep. Not well, at least. I stay tired.

And staying tired for too long, as many of you know, affects other areas of life. Relationships are compromised. Parenting is not at its best. Work suffers. And so I’m looking at ways to balance things out a bit. I can’t continue the roller coaster ride of going from a day that’s good to a string of days that aren’t good. For me, I usually find balance when a) I’m intentional about being quiet, b) I work-out and c) I listen to others.

So on my to-do list today? Well, I’ve already worked out. Now I need to be quiet. And then, I’ll shut-up some and listen.

Filed under: Blogging, CCfB, family, transition, worry

now what?

So we’re moving to St. Louis to live with the in-laws. I told someone recently that I’m glad it’s not my 20th year high school reunion this year. I can just imagine the conversation:

So Joe, what are you up? Where do you live? Where are you working?

Um, I’m unemployed and living with my in-laws. And yes, I’m 35 years old. But hey, I was a great student council president, wasn’t I?

In my best moments I’m taking this all in stride realizing that God is going before me preparing the way. Thankfully, my in-laws are some of the most gracious and humble people on the earth. Furthermore, I don’t feel so quite alone as I ponder unemployment. There are  few others out there that know how this feels. In my worst moments, my pride hurts and the word failure keeps knocking on the door wanting to have tea with me.

Even as I deal with all these feelings there is work to be done. First of all, there is the community of faith that is CCFB. They need me. I need them. And so we’re all working together to think wisely about this transition.

A transition team has been appointed and will ponder one central question: What is the future of CCFB? We met this past Sunday and will continue to meet for some time. Because we have worked hard to create a community in which all voices are heard and in which authenticity is valued, you can imagine how those conversations are going. They are all over the map. Some are gung-ho about fighting on and some are skeptical about the way ahead. In all of it, we’re asking for God’s wisdom and discernment.

Laura and I are doing quite a bit of hosting in our home these days. We want to hear each voice as they work through this and the best way to do that is over some good eats. Have I mentioned how much I love the folks of CCFB?

And then there is my family. We know where we’re going but we don’t yet know what awaits us there. My first concern is health insurance. CCFB along with MCOC said they would help us pay COBRA premiums until I could come up with a job. Incredible, no? Problem is, MCOC doesn’t have 20 or more employers on their group plan so we don’t qualify for COBRA. This isn’t so good when you consider that Laura’s pregnant and that Ira’s medical needs are still very extensive. Half of bankrupcies are due to health costs. Um, yeah, I’m just a bit nervous about this. This just intensifies the need to get a job ASAP. I’m working on that.

The big news is that we’re leaving the Churches of Christ. There’s just no room for me in the Churches of Christ. I need a denomination that will unabashedly welcome me and be honored to have me. I’ve never had that relationship with the Churches of Christ. And so I’m making calls to the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and looking to transfer my standing with them. It’s kinda tricky how all that works but I’m hoping for the best. Ideally, I could get a job with a Disciples church immediately but I’m just not sure how that will play out. I’m also applying for Teach for America hoping that I can be so choosy as to ask for a St. Louis placement. My next step will be to start applying for teaching positions at private schools in St. Loius. There’s a ton of them so maybe I can find a job in that arena. Do you have any St. Louis leads? If so, feel free to pass them on.

So, yeah, there’s kinda a lot going on right now. I, along with so many others, could use your prayers for a job. That would be kinda helpful.

Filed under: family, hope, transition